Silent hopes

It's 4 a.m, and once again, here I am whispering your name.
How I wish these nights felt less endless.
The things I'd give to quietly, fall back to sleep.
To be able to wake up, without having the pillows soaked in all of my sadness; The sadness you gave me.


How I hate Sundays.
How I feel locked up in some sort of cage, in the darkest corner of my silent room. How it makes me gasp for one last breath. How it makes me scream for help; And how no one can hear me.
I feel stuck: Trapped in my own mind. Surrounded by all of my darkest thoughts, and overwhelmed by the same tears we once shared.
"Maybe if I fall asleep, this will end faster" - I think. And once again, I'm mistaken. And so, another night falls as i was standing there, laying in this same bed, covered with thousand blankets, silently hoping that they would keep my heart warm.
Silently hoping, it wouldn't turn just as ice cold as yours.


The clock kept ticking, almost synchronized with the beatings of my heart, and i kept staring at the empty walls that surrounded me.
How I wished I could be somewhere else.
And how i wished, I wasn't asking to be somewhere else... With you. But I did. And I always have.
It was always the sound of your voice that my heart recognized.
And it was always the tender touch of you hands that my body so desperately craved.
It's always been you. And probably, it will always be about you.
And the saddest part, is that this is just one of hundred of reasons why my tears are once again slipping from my eyes, and I cannot make them stop. All because today is Sunday, and I'm missing you more than I think i ever did. And tonight, I cannot stand the weight i feel on my chest, for once letting you go.


And I certainly cannot stop bumbling your name
Because It's 6 a.m in the morning
And tomorrow will be just another Sunday...
And you still won't be there